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jenny
colgan
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Former NHS Trust worker Jenny Colgan turned her hand to stand-up comedy before landing a book deal with Harper Collins. Here she talks about commercial fiction, Justin Timberlake, and the persistant worry of arse spreadage.
What
inspires you to write?
The thought of the alternative ways of making a living!
How
long does it take you to write a novel?
Nine or ten months
Do
you have a writing routine? If so, what is it?
Yes, I think you have to. Waiting for the muse to strike I imagine is
pretty high risk. I get up at eight and try to write book before I go
to the gym about eleven (it is a very sedentary job: arse spreadage is
a constant concern), then in the afternoon I write journalism pieces.
I have to write three pages a day. That's why there's so much dialogue
in my books- it takes up more space!
Is
is harder to start or finish a novel?
Neither; being in the middle is the tricky bit. You know where your characters
start, and how you'd like them to end (although they won't always do what
you ask), but moving them about in the middle can get a bit frustrating.
How
did you go about finding an agent and do you think it's necessary to have
an agent??
It's imperative. I realise I was lucky with my timing; I was looking for
an agent for young commercial women's fiction four years ago. But the
only way to do it is buy a good handbook (I recommend the Writers &
Artists Yearbook) and follow its instructions to the letter. And don't
get too worried; there aren't thousands of fabulous books being submitted
every week. About 97% of everything agents get is barking (christian nazis,
porn, that kind of thing), so if you can write a sentence grammatically
you're already beating the odds.
How
do you cure writers block?
No such thing; or else, every day is writer's block. You'll notice everyone
that gets it (Alex Garland, J.K. Rowling) has millions and millions of
pounds. I think it's that more than anything else! I wouldn't work either.
What
is your all-time desert island book?
Couldn't say. But I deliberately haven't read War & Peace, in case
I accidentally get sent to prison, so I suppose that one. Or A Dance to
the Music of Time, all of it.
What's
the biggest myth about being a writer?
That it's a lonely, sad profession. I think people want to think that;
I'm always asked if I'm lonely at home. God no! It's fantastic! And we're
free during the day so we can meet for lunch and go to the movies at 3pm.
And there are lots of parties. Ooh, the other one is that it's harder
or somehow different to write a 'literary' novel as opposed to a 'commercial'
novel. This is complete bullshit. You write your view of the world, from
your head. If it's funny and quirky or if it's deep and meaningful, the
process is exactly the same.
What
advice would you give budding authors?
Writing is more democratic than you think. Yes, there are some 'daughters
of...' around, but really, people are just looking for what will sell.
I found it much easier to get a novel published than to get a job at the
BBC or a look in at advertising.
What
can readers expect from you in the future?
As usual, I always think my *next* book will be the best one. The one
I'm working on has a thirty year old trapped in the body of her sixteen
year old self to see if she can get it right second time around, and I'm
having lots of fun with that. Well, it's a very good excuse to go see
Justin Timberlake in concert and call
it research...
